what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
FUCK WHALES
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
