The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
