I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
