Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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