I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize