just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
