She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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