We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
