his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
