I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Michael Bay diarrhea
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize