hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize
