Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Randomize
