Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize