think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
