you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
