im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
