Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
