You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize