We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
