Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
sex in a hospital.. check
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
