Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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