I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
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