Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
