Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I hate all girls vehemently.
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
We left the knife in your bed.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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