Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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