i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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