I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
