You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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