I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just cut my nipple shaving
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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