Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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