Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
