If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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