(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Randomize
