It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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