I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
