So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
