So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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