eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize