I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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