His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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