...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
