I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize