he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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