She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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