Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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