I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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