But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
