If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
