Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
