I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
they call him Oral-B. enough said
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
