i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
