Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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