talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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