I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He better not be in your backpack
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
