I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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