I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I see more hoeing in ur future
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