I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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