I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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