Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
