You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
