found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
