Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
tell me about the eggs
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
