Don't make out with my wife yet
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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