I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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