I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
