What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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