just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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