So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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