Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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