i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
