i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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