It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Pooping to opera.
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