well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
