ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
