So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Randomize