I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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