Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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